“YOU CAN ONLY TAKE SOMEONE
WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN!”
Brad Brown
My Journey to freedom
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The Battle of ‘Who Am I?’ in a world of expectations.
For years, I battled with 'Who am I?' - shaped more by the world around me than by who I truly was. I chased approval, belonging, and perfection, unknowingly abandoning parts of myself. A need for control and perfection was created becoming driven to prove I was 'someone', living with an invisible manual of beliefs and behaviours designed by fear to keep me safe, accepted, liked and 'loved'.
The Hamster Wheel: When doing becomes a distraction.
Eventually, I found myself on a relentless hamster wheel. Life felt like one endless to-do list—tick one thing off, and two more would take its place. Even my phone, full of helpful reminders, became a tool of procrastination and pressure.
From the outside, this was “normal.” But inside, something felt deeply wrong. Why was I pretending to be okay? Why couldn’t I speak up, ask for support, or simply say, “I’m not okay”?. Reacting rather than responding to life. The playful banter in my relationships turned into personal attacks. My sense of humour faded. I was unravelling and no one could see it, not even me.
The moment everything cracked:
'I am done'
My body began to scream through pain and inflammation. Mentally and emotionally, I was overwhelmed, pushed by a constant need to be in control and make things perfect. I was exhausted from holding it all together.
Then came the breakdown the moment I finally said, “I am done.” For the first time, I allowed myself to stop no more avoiding, no more bypassing. I wasn't just ready for a rest, I was ready for the truth.
The worst days make the best stories
The only way is through!
I had tried every way around the discomfort avoiding, distracting, busying and overdoing but nothing worked. Only when I stopped and chose myself did the breakthroughs begin. I uncovered deep fears of not being good enough and not being needed to name a couple. I believed I had to earn my worth through productivity, perfection, and people-pleasing.
Letting go of those stories and patterns was the most liberating thing I've ever done.
"I can do nothing for you but work on myself; you can do nothing for me but work on yourself."
Ram Das
Self-Reflection checklist
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Use this checklist to explore key areas that may be impacting your personal growth, relationships, and overall well-being.
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[ ] Abandonment
[ ] Job vs. Purpose
[ ] Lack of Boundaries
[ ] Sugar Addiction
[ ] Co-dependency
[ ] Needing to be needed or in control
[ ] Relationship with self and others
[ ] Blame and Judgment (of self & others)​​​
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