“YOU CAN ONLY TAKE SOMEONE
WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN!”
Brad Brown
My Journey to freedom
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The Battle of ‘Who Am I?’ in a world of expectations.
For years, I battled with 'Who am I?' - shaped more by the world around me than by who I truly was. I chased approval, belonging, and perfection, unknowingly abandoning parts of myself. I became driven to prove I was someone, living by an invisible manual of beliefs and behaviours designed by fear to keep me safe, accepted, liked and 'loved'.
The Hamster Wheel: When doing becomes a distraction.
Eventually, I found myself on a relentless hamster wheel. Life felt like one endless to-do list—tick one thing off, and two more would take its place. Even my phone, full of helpful reminders, became a tool of procrastination and pressure.
From the outside, this was “normal.” But inside, something felt deeply wrong. Why was I pretending to be okay? Why couldn’t I speak up, ask for support, or simply say, “I’m not okay”?. The playful banter in my relationships turned into personal attacks. My sense of humour faded. I was unravelling and no one could see it, not even me.
The moment everything cracked:
“I am done”
My body began to scream through pain and inflammation. Mentally and emotionally, I was overwhelmed, pushed by a constant need to be in control and make things perfect. I was exhausted from holding it all together.
Then came the breakdown the moment I finally said, “I am done.” For the first time, I allowed myself to stop no more avoiding, no more bypassing. I wasn't just ready for a rest, I was ready for the truth.
The worst days make the best stories
The only way is through!
I had tried every way around the discomfort avoiding, distracting, busying and overdoing but nothing worked. Only when I stopped and chose myself did the breakthroughs begin. I uncovered deep fears of not being good enough, not being needed to name a few. I believed I had to earn my worth through productivity, perfection, and people-pleasing.
Letting go of those stories and patterns was the most liberating thing I've ever done.
"I can do nothing for you but work on myself; you can do nothing for me but work on yourself."
Ram Das
Self-reflection checklist
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Use this checklist to explore key areas that may be impacting your personal growth, relationships, and overall well-being.
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[ ] Abandonment
[ ] Job vs. Purpose
[ ] Lack of Boundaries
[ ] Sugar Addiction
[ ] Co-dependency
[ ] Needing to be needed or in control
[ ] Relationship with self and others
[ ] Blame and Judgment (of self & others)​​​
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